Navigating marriage counseling

Posted by on Oct 4, 2017 in Marriage Counseling, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Whether you have been married for one year or over 50, you may benefit from marriage counseling. Marriage counseling can help relieve every-day stressors that wear down even a solid, happy marriage. If you want to rekindle your relationship, you should consider seeking the help of a qualified professional like Kathleen Snyder, a licensed a Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and as a Professional Counselor (LPC) in Texas.

If you’re having trouble remembering and rekindling the love and connection you had at the beginning of your relationship, stress might be the culprit. Snyder explains that stress responses cause a “pressure-withdraw or attack-defend” mechanism that creates a vicious cycle. You might not even recognize your partner anymore from the person you first fell in love with.

While things may seem daunting, there is a very good chance that you can rekindle the love and connection you once enjoyed. The key, Snyder explains, is breaking the stress cycle that has hijacked your interactions. By doing so, you can not only repair any damage done but also provide space for friendship and intimacy to grow.

Marriage therapists like Snyder can help break this negative stress cycle by nurturing interactions that help build intimacy and connection. Once you break free from the stress cycle, you will be able to accurately respond to and recognize each other’s needs, creating a stronger, loving connection. This experience can help you not only rekindle the lost love but also reach new heights.

One way to rekindle your marriage is to learn how to fight fair. Start by maintaining control of the situation. Before you lose your temper, take a step back and call for a “time out.” This much needed pause could help you cool off before you say something you regret.

Second, make sure you never interrupt your partner. Interrupting not only shows that you’re not listening, but also signifies that you are trying to control the conversation. According to therapists, interrupting illustrates how you are “listening to respond rather than to understand.” One tactic to avoid interrupting is to use a specific object to signify whose turn it is to speak.

Third, do not bring up past hurts. If you are constantly bringing up old grudges, there may be underlying issues of unforgiveness, according to therapists Casey Caston. While it may be tempting to bring up the past, it is more effective to focus on the singular issue at hand.

Fourth, avoid criticism, which deteriorates a relationship. Like bringing up past hurts, criticism simply illustrates how you have made the argument personal rather than working to fix the problem.

Finally, be sure to apologize often. It is critical that you understand when and how you need to take responsibility for hurting your partner to resolve the conflict. Apologizing allows you to rebuild a connection and trust, the foundations of a strong marriage.

To recap, you can fight fair by staying calm, not interrupting, focusing on the single issue at hand, not lashing out, and apologizing. These tactics can help restore faith within a relationship. Consider talking to an experienced marriage counselor if you’re having any issues in your marriage.

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